“So You’re A Real Writer Then…”

“…and you had to learn how to be a book promoter.”

I read this line in a conversation with someone who publishes books for a living.  I’m not going to say he writes for a living because he doesn’t. He merely publishes books after paying ghostwriters to write them for him.  Apparently, there’s a lot of them and they can be found among the “real writers.”  

Sheesh! The things you learn everyday.

And here I was lamenting about the process of writing, of wrangling the muse like he’s a real person (he is!), figuring out how to increase my sales and promote my books ethically (what’s that?).  No wonder there are more days I feel like an idiot than days when I feel that it’s all okay because I’m pursuing my passion.

Book promoters are way ahead of the game.  While us reader “artist” types have our head in the clouds concocting the best stories, book promoters have their business hats on all the time and their eyes on the prize: money. They must be laughing at the real writers for being such dolts, worrying about the little things as plot and deep characterization (“what’s that?”) when they could be working on the many ways to pad their books so that KENP reads can hit 3,000 pages (the KENP limit for pages read) and they get $15 per book.

And then there are the “pseudo-co-writers.” What is pseudo-co-writing? I’m glad you asked! It’s like, we’re co-writing a novel together but we’re really not. Author A and Author B appear on Book A that Author A wrote all by herself and marketed and hence she keeps all the revenue. But not to worry! Author A and Author B will also pseudo-co-write Book B that only Author B wrote and marketed and thus collect all revenue. Even Steven! There’s a LOT of them on Amazon alone. People who apparently work extremely well with others, so well that they have so many pseudo-co-written books with other authors.

Now I really don’t trust anyone!

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