I’m on Chapter 5 of Sawyer’s story and I have to admit, it’s an accomplishment that I never thought I’d see only because I’ve now just realized that writing about a character who suffers from PTSD is difficult and scary. It’s why I needed to consult a pro when it came to helping me with an outline because I didn’t want to deviate from the straight line I’d set out to make for myself this time.
After all, I never outline; I simply write. It’s easier that way because it’s the only process I’ve ever known. But when your characters allow you a glimpse into their darkness, it also becomes a scary process that has you wondering if that darkness is your character’s (the one you made up) or yours (the one you never talk about) and if you’re strong enough to stick to the “script.”
And so I’m pushing on and pushing on because this is no longer just a story that has a publishing deadline. It’s a story I want to tell whether anyone wants to read it or not, and whether it sells or not. There’s nothing like a slump in sales to remind you to stop obsessing about the numbers and focus on the story because sometimes your soul needs a medium through which it can breathe and live and continue on.
Chapter 5 also has “Fast Car” as its lead song to inspire the scenes within it. Hard to believe that this came out in 1988. That’s 29 years ago and it’s such an amazing and timeless song and every time I hear it, it takes me away for a spell.
Hope it does the same thing for you, too.