So I did a thing today.
Unfortunately, from the look of that lock and how fast she did the job, she may have cut a bit too much. But that’s what I get for not going to my regular hairdresser and thinking she could make my hair match this:
I’ve had long hair ever since my grandmother stopped giving me a bowl cut when I was a tween and I’ve kept it long since – except when I had to get rid of the results of a bad spiral perm (remember when it was a thing?) and I had to cut my hair really short, like a bob. I looked horrible.
But I guess I’ve changed. It’s actually not so bad. And my head does feel a whole lot lighter than it’s ever felt and my back feels… well, cooler.
It got me thinking of the many things I used to believe were just so terrible like haircuts… and not looking like Salma Hayek. Add years and maturity to the mix and they’re not so bad anymore.
Same goes for self-publishing. I used to think I was a failure for being a self-published author. I was not worthy. I couldn’t tell anyone I was an author without being embarrassed about it as if it was the worse thing to be.
Add years and maturity to that equation and the result is not feeling like a fraud or an imposter. It’s knowing I do the best work I could possibly do and I do it with pride. It’s also loving what I do and knowing it’s taken me so many years to finally come full circle. I’d always wanted to be a writer, but instead of following that path even with a college education where I majored in Journalism and Advertising, I did everything but pursue writing as a career.
It wasn’t until my son was diagnosed with autism when he was two did I finally decide to let everything else go and focus on him and my writing which was something I could do while I drove him to this therapy or that specialist. That’s how writing as a vocation–and not a guilty pleasure–found me again.
Sometimes it takes a recalibration of things, a resetting of the internal controls to get us back to where we are supposed to be. What this has to do with my hair getting chopped off and not looking like Salma Hayek I have no idea. But I’ll consider it the pushing of the Reset button.
Besides, summer is coming.