A Smattering of Thoughts Over Morning Coffee #mondayblogs

Daylight Savings Time is in full effect here in SoCal and I’m working on a new story for a picture that I fell in love with and created a cover for.  After three tries on the first few chapters, I think I’ve finally nailed it on the third attempt.  The main reason I’m writing this new story is because I have two more weeks before Loving Riley gets back from the editor and so I have to keep myself busy.

I could also clean out my garage but that’s not writing.

And so here I am wondering if I can pull it off, at the same time checking on posts on the Facebook author groups I’m a member of.  The one post that’s gotten a lot of activity has been by an author who’s been making money on erotica shorts on Amazon.  Suddenly everyone who read his account wants to be an erotica author, too, pushing the boundaries of what’s okay and not okay.  This weekend I learned what dubcon (dubious consent) means, and apparently it’s HUGE.  It doesn’t mean I’m going there, though.  But it was interesting to see people desperate to make money suddenly thinking, hey, I could totally write about that…

I also started reading Auletris by Anaïs Nin after sorting through my 2300 Kindle books on my cloud library by alphabetical order instead of by date.  I have to be honest here: a moment between a child delivering laundry and a man gave me pause.  If you’ve read it, you probably know what I mean. It’s one of the characters’ stories in “Life in Provincetown.”  Still, I love the way she connects the characters to one another in this piece.

I can say that compared to the smattering of modern erotica I’ve read, Nin’s works like Delta of Venus and Auletris would be considered erotica-lite to modern readers, but at the same time, not so lite.  She wrote it for a specific patron, a private collector, and this during a time when most erotica writers were male.  She makes you think; she also had a wonderful hold on characterization and going into what makes a woman tick.  It’s almost poetic, real and uncomfortable, all at the same time.  I can’t say that with some of the KU books I’ve read of late, most of which are quickies compared to Nin’s.  But it’s all about the goal of your writing, I guess.  Nin supposedly wrote it for a private collector with specific tastes.  And then there is writing to market…

So back to the story I’m writing.  It involves a man, a woman, and a baby.  Some authors say they don’t add babies or children to their stories because they change the couple dynamic, and they could be right.  But the moment I fell in love with the picture, I knew it was a challenge I wanted to tackle.  Whether I succeed or not remains to be seen, but I’m in love with the cover and I’m determined to write 20K words this week. So far, I’m at 3600 words.

I actually wrote a story about a couple with grown kids two years ago for my sister-in-law.  It was probably one of the first stories I wrote that dealt with kids within the narrative – not just to say they’re at the babysitter or spending the night with friends – but to have them as part of what made the couple tick amid all the usual struggles within their marriage that included romance.

The story is called Date Night and you can download it for free here.

So that’s about it for my thoughts over coffee on this Monday morning.  Last week, I had my first mammogram and while it wasn’t as painful as I thought it was going to be, it was interesting.  I think I’ve reached that age in my life where I want to write about women like me who sit in waiting rooms and live normal lives.  I want to write about that woman with gray in her hair who hasn’t yet given up on true love or the man sitting with earphones listening to jazz music as he waits for his partner to come out of the back office and together, they’ll walk to the elevator and return to their lives.

But first, I need to finish this story about a man, a woman, and a baby.


6 thoughts on “A Smattering of Thoughts Over Morning Coffee #mondayblogs

  1. And I’m putting off going to bed. Too many dreams about aliens lately.

    Yeah, dubious consent is a big thing in some circles. I saw it more in anime fandoms. Nonconsensual is also another market. (aka rape or rape/ravishment fantasies.) I find that dubcon really depends on how it is handled. (I read a bunch of it when I was a teenager and learning about sex/sexuality and now it’d probably make me uncomfortable, the way reading Pern makes me uncomfortable.)

    Erotica is an interesting pool. I think I’ll stay over here safely in my adventure stories. Because once you enter dubcon and noncon, you start into that tricky trigger warning zone. And that has gotten out of control.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I never was into dubcon and noncon because of trigger issues but it’s interesting to see the demand for it and so people who never even considered it before are considering writing it now to meet that perceived demand. It’s the demand for it that worries me though more than anything which can lead to the normalization of such things.


      1. I see what you mean. It’s interesting to see what bandwagons people will jump on to try to make a few dollars. It will really depend on how it’s written and presented if it is harmful or not. (Take young girls looking for their Edward not realizing that the relationship was abusive. Or young women looking for their christian grey for the same reason. These relationships were presented badly. The blog The Dirty Normal wrote an entire thing about how wrong the sex was in 50Shades just based on the idea of physical arousal versus mental arousal. And that while she was physically aroused, she didn’t like it and this portrayal actually makes things worse and more confusing for women. As we’re told already, ‘you may not like it, but your body does, so secretly you really do like it.’)

        I worry that the idea of dubcon is already normalized in our society. There is a reason why colleges are having these larger sex scandals. There’s a reason why they are now teaching what consent is and legislating it very heavily on college campuses. The Tea Consent video was a pretty powerful meme for a time.

        I think it’s better now that we can talk about these sort of things. This stuff used to happen and no one talked about it because it was shameful. There may be deeper societal issues at play here, but we can talk about it and point out that it’s wrong at least.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I love the Tea Consent video and think it should be distributed more. I’ve never read 50 Shades although I’ve tried but could never get past the first chapter – I know the BDSM community abhors it and they see so many young girls signing up to sites like Fetlife looking for their Christian and then finding the wanna-be Doms who end up ruining them anyway because they don’t know a thing about the lifestyle or the rules, it becomes an excuse and permission for abuse. But it’s still as popular as ever though (50SOG) and people attribute its success to the proliferation of similar stories in the Amazon bestseller lists.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh! Emily did publish her book. Here is her blog the Dirty Normal with the tag for 50 Shades. Her review is the best I’ve seen and takes you through the first book. Then she got fed up and wanted to write her own.


        She’s a sex educator and I found her take on it interesting.That and it’s much easier on my brain to read her review than try to read the book itself.

        Liked by 1 person

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